Three thoughts in transition:

1)  "By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes."  Act IV, Scene 1, Macbeth 

2)  Just when things are looking up, you trip, fall and get bitten in the ass by a snapping turtle.

3)  My daughter and I saw a huge snapping turtle about to cross the interstate last year.  I had seen it from a distance, and it was huge.  It looked like a small dinosaur was on the move.

At first I wasn't sure if I should intervene, so by the time I had stopped, I was some distance ahead of it.  As we ran back to it by the side of the road, I saw it get clipped by a semi.  When we got to it, it didn't appear too badly injured - just a little blood around it's mouth.  I didn't really know how to grab it so that it would not bite me.  Believe me - I did not want to get anywhere near it's mouth!

Our goal was to get it turned around and back into the wilderness at the side of the road.  But we didn't have any tools or equipment to pick the big guy up with, without getting a thumb severed.  We went back to the van to search and could only find a towel.  Meanwhile, semis and cars are whizzing by at breakneck speed - wondering what the crazy women are doing on the side of the road with the little dinosaur.  I think one of them may have called 911, because it wasn't long before a trooper pulled up.

A little red-faced, I explained our rescue mission and our lack of success.  We had just resorted to trying to herd the big guy using the towel slung across his rear end.  The trooper, rather than lecturing us on our foolish and dangerous behavior as I expected, gamely retrieved a shovel from his car and proceeded to scoop the turtle's rear-end up and wheel-barrow him into the ditch.  Mission accomplished.

Somedays that's the best that you can do.

When I was seven, my friend Sarah and I went to a horse show to compete in a barrel-racing event.  That's where we both met Caleb.  Caleb's mom is a barrel racer and horse trainer, and Caleb was helping his mom at the show by loading and unloading her equipment for her.

Even though he was older than us, Sarah and I both thought Caleb was really nice and a lot of fun to be around.  Everyone liked him.  We got to be good friends with him and we would hang out together whenever we would see him.

The year after we met Caleb, I had a Halloween party at my house.  The morning after my party, my mom and dad were listening to the news and heard that a boy had accidentally hanged himself the night before.  I didn't think too much about it until I heard who it was.  It was Caleb.

One of the horse farms in our area had a Halloween haunted hayride and Caleb had gotten a job working there with about fourteen other kids who were supposed to scare the people who went on the hayride.  For instance, a guy would open and close the lid of a coffin and this girl would jump out at the people.  Caleb's job was to jump out of the woods as the hayride passed him.

I guess that just jumping out of the woods and saying, "Boo!" wasn't enough for Caleb.  He always loved to get a rise out of people.  Right next to Caleb there was a skeleton hanging from a tree.  Just before the wagon got to him, Caleb took the rope from around the skeleton's neck and put it around his own neck because he thought that would scare people more than the skeleton did.  What he didn't realize was that, even though his feet were touching the ground, he didn't weigh enough to keep the branch that the rope was tied to, from whipping back up, making the rope tight enough to choke him.  When he started choking, the other kids thought he was just goofing around like he always did, trying to put on a big act.  Caleb couldn't get the rope off by himself from around his neck because he had double-knotted it.  By the time everyone realized that he wasn't kidding around, it was too late. Even though they tried to save him with CPR, Caleb died.  He was only fourteen.

When I heard this I couldn't believe it.  Caleb had his whole life ahead of him.  Our whole town was shocked and everyone was so sad.  It took everyone several months to just get over it.  Sarah and I would talk about all of the good times we had and we comforted each other.  But even now, I don't feel like I'm completely over it.

I think about Caleb and how everything would be different if only he hadn't put that noose around his neck.  I guess he didn't think it was dangerous, but now we all know that it was.  I realize now that you really have to think about the things that you do, before you do them.  Even though you may think nothing can ever happen to you, you can prevent accidents before they happen simply by realizing there can be dangerous consequences from your actions.  I hope that everyone who reads Caleb's story will think before they act and think twice before they ever put anything around their necks.

I copied the story above from my "Chicken Soup" subscription, because I think the young lady who wrote it had no idea of the extreme depth of wisdom in her warning.  Every day we put a noose around our neck:  the boyfriend who's emotionally abusive, the recreational drugs or alcohol that are used beyond moderation, bad decisions, self-abuse.  We'll be OK, we say.  We're just having fun. 

Damn, if I could just untie this damn knot at my neck.  Things are going black - why all those people pointing and laughing, anyway?

This is a most disturbing and quite complex blogger I found on my other site (which I have 'cause I have a friend there - it only has repetitions of here).

Anyway, with the "I heart huckabees" post there, I followed a trail on the nature of pain and suffering and came upon a site written by a dedicated and vehement cutter.  This is her "Why I started cutting" entry: http://opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=B436287&am p" title="http://opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=B436287&am p" target="_blank"http://opendiary.com/entryvie...;entry=10012&mode=dat e

I must confess that sites seemingly dedicated to self-destruction and not to healing are troublesome to me.  The parodox of reveling in one's pain and rejecting the option of healing is something I find difficult to relate to.  I think it's the aspect of control.  If you are interested in healing, I can say "woo hoo, way to go, you rock, yada yada, yada".  If you feel down or backslidden I can say "stay the path, you're gonna be okay, etc, etc..." and feel like I've done something useful.

But if you are wallowing in your pain, reveling in it, rhapsodizing and dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight...  Well, all I can do is watch.  And that's a form of pain that I don't really like to inflict on myself.

I'm not a poet like many of you here, or even a gifted essayist.  But facing the idea, the fact that someone is so deep within their reality of pain reminds me - forces me to believe - that goodness, that blessings, sweetness and light are only one side of reality, that a balance exists and everything comes with a cost.  A price.  But at a deeper level than I've understood before.  It forces me to realize that there are things I cannot fix.  Broken things I must choose to live with, throw away or ignore.  But none of those are options, are they?  How can you raise your children into a world that you CANNOT fix??!!  but you must.  you have no choice.  this is your world.

I just had the most awesome breakfast:  Mattar Paneer and Chana Masala with a Chai chaser.  I love Indian food.  I just found actual frozen dinners!!  My husband learned about them actually.  The variety is minimal but they are fantastic.  The spice level is geared toward the masses - but that's OK.  I had Prawn Vindaloo at the Indian Cafe a few nights ago and steam poured out my ears, sweat ran down my face, and we won't even talk about it's exit strategy.  Sometimes moderation is good!  Any way - these frozen dinners are by "Amy's" at www.Amys.com.  Yum.

I am pretty adventurous with food.  There are a few things I can't abide.  1) Any animals wild / gamey.  Virtually everyone I know hunts dear with rifle or bow & arrow.  I can't eat it.  Sometimes REALLY disguised in highly seasoned sausage.  But not really even then.  I can eat buffalo - but that's farmed and not wild, even though it does have just a hint of gaminess.   2) Vegi-mite.  My daughter brought some home from down under and was shocked - yes shocked - that I would barely taste it and was utterly disgusted.  She still uses it as a vitamin supplement when she gets a mouth ulcer.  3)  Chinese New Years's Cake - the 6th graders made it for their presentation in history class.  um - this stuff is made with rice flour and bean paste, among other things.  You bake for an hour and come up with something that resembles a cross between jello and rotting flesh.  Oh - and tastes like bean paste.

I left mid-post to check on Basild's meanderings (see link at left).  Now I feel unworthy.  So many talented bloggers, so little time...

I don't think there are enough topics to choose from in "Pick A Topic".  "Food", for instance, or "Family".  What about "Fish", "Freaks", or "Fallopian Tubes".  All of those could be good topics.  HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT:  Suggest a TBOG TOPIC category.

I was trying to find a topic for Philosophy Monday, and I kept going back to the Movie I saw this weekend:  I Heart Huckabees.  So i did a little searching and found a review that seemed to echo my regard for the film:

I Heart Huckabees:

Part shrinks, part private investigators, the "existential detectives" at the center of "I Heart Huckabees" (Dustin Hoffman and Lily Tomlin) plumb life's biggest questions in the most mundane of ways. They believe, in other words, that the key to a man's angst can be found by going through his garbage.

The latest sharp satire from writer-director David O. Russell ("Flirting with Disaster," "Three Kings"), "I Heart Huckabees" often is as random and puzzling as its title (don't bother asking what it means). Yet buried beneath the quirky characters, philosophical rambling and sheer absurdity is something akin to a fatalistic primal scream: We suffer, therefore we are.

That's essentially the conclusion drawn by the detectives' latest client, an idealistic environmentalist (Jason Schwartzman) battling with a soulless corporate marketing executive (Jude Law, exercising his underrated comic skills). Other unlikely actors relishing the chance to be simultaneously smart and funny are Mark Wahlberg and Naomi Watts.

That star-studded cast gives "I Heart Huckabees" a luster that only ups the screwball quotient. By the time Hoffman, Tomlin, Schwartzman, Law, Watts and Wahlberg all become embroiled in fisticuffs during an office scene, you'll feel like you're watching a brawl at an Academy Awards bash.

— Josh Larsen, movie editor http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/entertainment/movies/ n1008i.htm" title="http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/entertainment/movies/ n1008i.htm" target="_blank"http://www.suburbanchicagonew...

So....  What's the point you ask?  The statement:  "We suffer, therefore we are."  This as the reviewer remarks above, seems to be the point of the movie.  The question, though:  Is it the point of life? 

As one of my favorite authors, Dr. M. Scott Peck, wrote:  (underline added by me)

"Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy. They voice their belief, noisily or subtly, that their difficulties represent a unique kind of affliction that should not be and that has somehow been especially visited upon them, or else upon their families, their tribe, their class, their nation, their race or even their species, and not upon others."

Various philosophical and religious doctrines point out the the acceptance of suffering is the secret to happiness.  If we accept that life is pain, we are able to move past that and enjoy that which can be enjoyed.

So  - Do you think it is true?  "We suffer, therefore we are"?  And does acceptance, even embrace of suffering lead to greater happiness?

A new computer gadget enables someone to apply direct physical stimulation sexually to another person over the Internet, thus advancing "cybersex" far beyond its previous limitation of mere words and pictures.  According to a September report on Wired.com, the vibrating "Sinulator," with wireless receiver, can be activated remotely at different speeds and force by a spouse or anyone else who uses the device's password at Sinulator's website, and that manipulation can be done not only by keyboard and mouse, but by a male placing the Sinulator's transmitting sleeve ("Interactive Fleshlight") over his penis and thrusting at his (or the recipient's) preferred speed and force.  "Thus," summarized the Wired writer, "a man can be thrusting in Cleveland while a woman is penetrated in Seattle."

oh my gosh - I just went to the website...you gotta check out the little cartoon graphic:  http://www.sinulate.com/" title="http://www.sinulate.com/" target="_blank"http://www.sinulate.com/

PS - As long as you're here, read the next one, too.

(I'm sorry, I can't reference this because I don't know where it came from.  I've had it for a while.)

The practical adventurist

Pretend you're Yew, the lead character in an adventure videogame, living out an epic quest. Pretend, as you go about your day, that everyone you meet has information relevant to your mission, especially if you don't know what your mission is. Pay special attention to how events transpire in relationship to one another, as this often provide clues to a deeper understanding of the events themselves, and also the system of which you are part. Do not be concerned when you encounter obstacles, they are built into the game - as are the means to overcome them. Successful completion will bring rewards and the tools you will need to solve future problems. These challenges, some might even say, are what makes the game fun. Don't worry, failure is implicit; you'll get your second chance again and again. Either you'll quit or you'll overcome whatever stands in your way. Some people say this is analogous to life. But, if you don't think so, don't worry, just pretend.

When I was 8 my grandfather died.  He had had a stroke and had been in the hospital for several months.  The hospital in our little western US town of 1000 was just one block away from my house.  I used to go in and peek into his room.  He wouldn't let me visit, though.  He didn't want to be remembered like that.  It wouldn't have mattered.  The memories I have are pretty clear. 

My grandfather was the only man in my life until about 5 years old.  My father was in Europe in the Army.  My mother and I lived next door to my grandparents.  My grandfather looked like Harry Truman, and like Harry, he was born and raised in Missouri (Missouruh).  I never heard him raise him voice in anger, but he was an intimidating man.  He called my mom "sis".

When I was 8 my mom was pregnant.  As her due date approached, the town's only doctor knew that my grandpa was about to die and my mom was about to have a baby, so he thought it best to induce to ensure that there wouldn't be some really bad timing issues.

The delivery room / new mom rooms were literally across the hall from the critical care rooms - both were right by the single nurses' station.  The nurse came out of the delivery room at 10:00 pm, walked right across the hall to my grandfather's room, and told him that he was the grandfather of a brand new baby girl, my sister.

My grandfather died that night at 10:10.  Just as if he had been waiting.

Mr. Alt woke up on a strange side of the futon today.

He got up early.  Apparently the dishwasher was running during his shower.  But he wasn't annoyed - he just mentioned that it would be better if it didn't.

On the way into work we discussed some current issues, and mostly agreed on the ethics of those involved.

And then, just when he was ready to get out, he did the most unusual thing....

He kissed me.  One of those really soft opened mouthed kisses - no, two of them.  And he told me what I already knew but sometimes forget - "I love you."

The promise of a future rivalling a past so oft forgotten?

If you're not sure what's going on here, see the previous post.

Regarding the definition of philosophy as: "The critical analysis of fundamental assumptions or beliefs."

The following question was posed by GreenEyedGrrl:

"One quesion I have is--why is it that so many people who are pro-life are also pro-death penalty. Does that not seem to be a contradiction? Bush says he wants to create a "culture of life" as an explanation for his pro-life stance. How can we do that and allow state executions at the same time?"

Regarding the first question:

I THINK that that view is based on the concept of "personal responsiblity".  In other words: "If you do something, you should expect to be held responsible for it." Extrapolate that, and people (male and female) who participate in getting pregnant are responsible for the life that they have created. Murderers are responsible for the lives they take.

Regarding Bush and the "culture of life", I would like to reserve comment and offer that and the previous question as well as my comment to the floor for discussion. 

Well, I thought my posts were getting a little arbitrary, so I thought I would dedicate a day of the week to a particular kind of post.  The title of this post will tell you what is going on here.

I thought it would be useful to start with a definition:

phi·los·o·phy  

1. Love and pursuit of wisdom by intellectual means and moral self-discipline.


2. Investigation of the nature, causes, or principles of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning rather than empirical methods.
   
3. A system of thought based on or involving such inquiry: the philosophy of Hume.
   
4. The critical analysis of fundamental assumptions or beliefs.
   
5. The disciplines presented in university curriculums of science and the liberal arts, except medicine, law, and theology.
   
6. The discipline comprising logic, ethics, aesthetics, metaphysics, and epistemology.
   
7. A set of ideas or beliefs relating to a particular field or activity; an underlying theory: an original philosophy of advertising.
   
8. A system of values by which one lives: has an unusual philosophy of life.

* From Dictionary.com

As you can see, this is a fairly broad category and should give us plenty to work with. 

Modern philosophy can be divided into many disciplines, including but not limited to:

• epistemology:  study of the origin, validity, and limits of knowledge


• logic: examination of the structures and principles of reasoning
  
• metaphysics:  the investigation of ultimate reality;
  
• ethics:  the study of morality and ethical judgement;
  
• aesthetics:  the study of the nature of beauty in the arts,
  
• ontology, the study of the nature of existence of physical and mental entities

More on this?  See: http://www.faragher.freeserve.co.uk/" title="http://www.faragher.freeserve.co.uk/" target="_blank"http://www.faragher.freeserve...

My personal favorites are aesthetics, logic, and ethics.  They are also a little easier to wrap your head around.  However, it can sometimes be difficult to discuss those three on a more than superficial level without some foundation in the others.

Going forward, I'd like to start taking a look at theory and application.  If you're reading this, please let me know if you would like to broach a subject, real or imagined, serious are humorous, let's throw it against the wall and see what sticks.

ALT officially endorses the Prince music video "Cinnamon Girl" and declares the following pronouncement the drivel of morons:

The New York Post said it "might be the most tasteless video ever." Fox News commentator John Gibson suggested that Prince is "causing trouble," and CNN anchor Kyra Phillips said it is "shaking and rumbling the entertainment industry."

At least Rolling Stone has common sense:  Rolling Stone magazine music editor Joe Levy said the video should be put in context, and the song says that Arab-Americans were victims of hate after Sept. 11, 2001.

Read the article, watch the video, and decide for yourself:  http://entertainment.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=170649" title="http://entertainment.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=170649" target="_blank"http://entertainment.msn.com/...

Body Modification Ezine has a fascinating, comprehensive list of possible risks for each body-mod experience.
http://risks.bmezine.com" title="http://risks.bmezine.com" target="_blank"http://risks.bmezine.com   ENJOY!!!

My ear, a victim of the "cheese cutter effect" in 3rd grade...[image]altricial_13068320 96.jpg[/image]

Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, I stole this concept from Rinna:

1. When I was 20 I bought a motorcycle and taught myself to ride it.
2. I went skydiving once.
3. I rode in a hot air balloon once.
4. When I was 14, my first real boyfriend was 24.
5. I gave birth to my 2nd daughter in the wheel-chair in the hallway of the hospital.
6. My mother died of cancer when I was 32.
7. I saw Bruce Springsteen at Red Rocks Ampitheater outside of Boulder, CO when I was 15.  It was amazing.
8. I had 5 abortions before I was 21.
9. I once spoke in front of my state legislature, encouraging the passage of legislation to require a 24 hour informed consent waiting period prior to abortion surgery.
10. The next day, there were headlines about it in the newspaper and my name was used.
11. I was 8 months pregnant with my first child at the time.
12. I think it's destiny that I ended up having 5 kids.
13. It wasn't a choice.  The last 2 are twins.
14. In college, for a while, I was a cutter.
15. A friend saw the cuts on my wrist once, and I covered them up quickly.  Our eyes met for just the briefest moment, then we both looked away.  We never spoke of it.
16. I got stuck and had to walk 5 miles home from work the day of my 20th birthday.
17. Halfway home I saw my cousin who I hadn't seen for 2 years.  He gave me a ride.  :o)
18. I used to give rides to hitch-hikers a lot when I was a teenager.
19. I'm glad Ted Bundy wasn't one of them.
20. My dad found my boyfriend's pot in his glove-box on prom night.
21. He called the sheriff.
22. They couldn't do anything about it,'cause it was in my dad's car.
23. They asked my boyfriend to leave town and not come back.
24. Until I met my husband, I always kept 2 "serious" boyfriends (or engagements!) at a time.
25. I am not proud of that.
26. My sister moved in with me when she was 15.  I was 23.
27. She used to send me Mother's Day cards until a few years ago.
28. I can be very outgoing when I try, but I'm afraid of people.
29. I've been married for 14 years. I believe in marraige vows.  I understand there are exceptions.
30. When I'm at a wedding and the minister says that all present should support the marraige, I take him/her seriously.
31. I am SERIOUSLY addicted to Mt. Dew.  It's my only real substance abuse.
32. I never took a book home in high-school.
33. But I got a 3.8 and got into college on scholarship.
34. My first car was purple.
35. It lasted about 2 months, then died.
36. My husband sleeps in the room next door.
37. He snores.
38. I fell in love with my house when I saw it.
39. No - really.  I got butterflies in my stomach!  :oP
40. It's 115 years old.  Not old by some standards - pretty damn old for here.
41. I can still sit with my butt on the floor and my knees bent back so my feet are back by my butt - like little kids do.
42. I never sat cross-legged, like most people do.
43. I think the word "squaw" is a filthy word and all of the land-marks, etc. should be renamed.
44. Sometimes I take things too seriously.
45. I like to search for (and eat) morel mushrooms in the spring.
46. A certain mushroom that grows in my yard acts like "antabuse" - it makes you feel deathly ill if you drink any alcohol within 48 hours of eating it.
47. I went dove hunting once.
48. I didn't do any of the cleaning afterward.
49. I like to shoot, but I need practice.
50. I wouldn't want to own a gun - maybe after the kids are gone.
51. I'm spending too much time on tblog.
52. I'm trying to decide what to be when I grow up.
53. I haven't worked for 18 months.
54. But I do everything at home EXCEPT bring in the money.
55. I am active in volunteer endeavors.
56. My husband is a recovering alcoholic.
57. I have to drive him everywhere.
58. Our marraige has not yet recovered.
59. We aren't really working on it.  We're sort of waiting for it.
60. My husband thinks I spend too much money.
61. He's right.
62. But not as much as the 3 quarts of Crown Royal a week, then the DUI, attorney, and substance abuse treatment cost.
63. I have issues.
64. But I never fed my husband any of the "antabuse" mushrooms.
65. I was a state champion debater in college.  (I was a "master"!)  :o)
67. I once didn't eat for 6 days. 
68. I drank Mountain Dew, though.
69. I believe in the power of the human spirit, the soul, and hope.
70. I believe that there are some times that capital punishment is absolutely necessary.
71. I believe that there are people on death row who are innocent.
72. I made a native american leather dress for the county fair sewing competition in 1976.
73. I like to karoake.
74. I can knit and crochet.
75. I sew pretty good too.
76. I was once in the process of converting to Judaism for my then-fiance.
77. I learned to read Hebrew.
78. I have since forgotten how to read Hebrew.
79. But I still remember the Mourner's Kadish (prayer).
80. I have a real thing about appearances.
81. This makes me somewhat inhibited in many ways.
82. I respect and admire people who are unihibited.
83. I quit my job because I wanted to be at home with the kids more.
84. But the kids are all in school during the school year.
85. I think maybe I had ulterior motives.
86. I had Bell's Palsy once. It's when one side of your face becomes paralyzed for no apparent reason.
87. I have never been unfaithful within marraige.
88. I am quite sure I will be married to my husband for (someone's) life.
89. I know that we will be happy again.
90. And sometimes not.
91. Having my child die before I do is one of the most frightening things I can imagine.
92. I was an army brat.
93. I grew up in a mobile home.
94. I'm a "foodie".  I like expensive, gourmet, or unusual food.
95. Sometimes I stay up too late.
96. I wasn't really close to my mom.
97. I helped her tie up the loose ends as she prepared to die.
98. I was there when she died.
99. I made them stop trying to IV her.  She was supposed to be hospice - die in bed At home.  But my dad had paniced - called 911 instead of me or hospice.
100. When I got to the hospital she was trying to talk - tell them to stop.
101. I'm sorry I took her for granted.

This is what happened the day of the accident:

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

I woke up this morning to a rainy day.  By the time i had driven my husband to work I was in a mild cloud of depression.  I felt like I was trapped in a box of mist and couldn't find my way out.  "How hard is it to get out of a box of mist?" you say?  I guess that's the point.

When this happens, my intellect disconnects from my emotions.  I can tell myself that it's all situational, tempora l.  But the only response I get is apathy.  hhmmmph...

In The Sandman series, by Neil Gaiman, Delerium asks her brother, Dream, "What's the name for the precise moment when you've actually forgotten how it felt to make love to somebody you really liked a long time ago?"  Dream replies, "There isn't one."  Delerium says, "Oh.  I thought maybe there was."

Mikal Gilmore, in the introduction to the 10th and final book, says, "That word is 'Mercy', and it stands for an attribute that does not always fare well in the hard realities of waking life."

So I pose this question:  "What's the word when that person you really liked a long time ago is right here.  Right next to you.  Every day.  And yet you've still forgotten.  What's the word then?"  It's not mercy.

Five Year Plan

I love you. You love that which cannot be.
Where you love capacities, I love shortcomings.
Where you love pride, I love how the fragile can break
in my arms. You love courage. I, weakness now /
   and then.

You love the future. I, that which is past.
Whereas you love the hundred lives you wanted to live,
I love the one which is left over and thus
the way you can be so far away pressed /
   close to me.

I love what is. You, what should be.
Do you love me. I love you.

  Herman De Coninck (1944-1997)

In the spirit of the election frenzy, I have dug up this old e-mail stand-by for your quizzing pleasure.  (This is not a political endorsement of these or any other candidates - this message was approved by Alt.)

Time to vote for your favorite candidate...

Candidate A

• Associates with political hacks and consults with swindlers.


• He's had two mistresses.


• He chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
  

Candidate B

• Was kicked out of office twice.


• Sleeps until noon.


• Used opium in college.


• Drinks a quart of brandy every evening.
  
  

Candidate C

• Is a decorated war hero.


• He's a vegetarian


• Doesn't smoke,


• Drinks an occasional beer


• Hasn't had any illicit affairs.
  
  

Which of these candidates is your choice? You don't really need any more information, do you?

Keep reading.....






















Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt

Candidate B is Winston Churchill

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

All my life I thought of myself as pretty strong.  I learned fairly young that my mother was in many ways much younger than me.  And my father, while present after I was 5 (he was overseas in the military until then), wasn't really emotionally "there".  So I just sort of did my own things.  Being very independant, and working from a very young age, I had a different perspective than most people my age.  And they mostly saw me as "solid", "strong", "reliable".

Don't get me wrong, my life was not tough.  Compared to most people in here, I'm a candyass - really.  My parents weren't abusive.  I was poor but always had enough to eat.  I knew from an early age that I would go to college, even though my parents didn't.  (And back then you could get really good aid and go to a good school if you were poor.)

Overall, being a strong person has been a benefit.  But it can be really lonely sometimes.  Your friends always assume you'll "be OK".  If you never let them see you cry, they think you never do.  Strong people attract people who are willing to take advantage of that.  My husband never would have been attracted to an emotionally needy woman.  But does he not think that I have emotional needs??

I really saw the genetic heritage sown after my daughter broke up with her boyfriend.  She was having a really tough time with it and I asked her if her friends were supportive.  Her answer really opened my eyes.  Since she is the strong girl, the leader among her friends, they all assumed that she was fine.  After all, SHE broke up with him.  So they didn't talk to her about it, and didn't call to ask how she was.  But they didn't know her like I did.  They didn't know she cried herself to sleep every night.  And she didn't tell them.  She was too strong.

(dedicated to "Anastacia", a very strong young woman)

*Alt does happy snoopy dance, yet again*

ODE TO MY ROOMBA, CURRENTLY ON IT'S MAIDEN VOYAGE

I love my Roomba I really do!
I think Roomba's are awesome too!

Mine vacumns for me, it does all the work.
Now I can lie around and be a big jerk!

My Roomba's great and really nice.
Tell my husband that it was worth the price!

You can have your Oreck, or even your Dysen
My Roomba rocks - it could knock out Mike Tyson!

No...  REALLY!  I'm NOT!

I found the song I was looking for.  The song is "When I dream". It was recently recorded by Carol Kidd in the Korean movie "Shiri" / "Swiri".

Check it out here:http://home.netvigator.com/~cleevy/seekme/sthprivate .html

What I still couldn't figure out is why I thought the song was MUCH older than Carol's version appeared to be.

THEN I finally discovered that Crystal Gayle recorded the song in 1979!  *Alt does happy snoopy dance*

When I Dream
Crystal Gayle
Written by Sandy Mason Theoret

Peaked at # 84 on the Pop chart but # 3 on the Country chart in 1979

I could have a mansion that is higher than the trees
I could have all the gifts I want and never ask please
I could fly to Paris, oh, it's at my beck and call
Why do I go through life with nothing at all?

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true

I can be the singer or the clown in every room
I can even call someone to take me to the moon
I can put my makeup on and drive the men insane
I can go to bed alone and never know his name

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true

But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true

OK.  I'm usually not a political blogger, but I'm watching the new show "Desperate Housewives" (yum) last night and a Kerry commercial comes on.  Right after the Kerry bit another commercial comes on with a woman who is crying and complaining that the war was started for all the wrong reasons.  She says that her son went "even though he didn't want to" and he "died in the arms of his best friend".  Then she says "I always knew losing a child would be hard, but I didn't think it would be this hard".  And by this time she is sobbing in a tight close-up.  It was paid for by some PAC, it wasn't a Kerry endorsed ad.  I didn't remember the name of the PAC. 

I don't know if they paid this woman to do this, or if she did it on her own conviction.  I don't want to be judgemental of someone who recently lost their child.  But whoever runs this PAC - whoever had the idea and the balls to create and run this ad is simply an ass.  This was the most tasteless, obnoxious thing I have seen in a long, long time.

I have this piece of a song that has been in my head for like 30 years.  I swear (maybe I was dreaming....) that I was in like an ethnic grocery store or restaurant recently and I HEARD it.  I thought, "I''ll finally go do an internet search on the lyrics to find out what that is..."   But - NO luck!  i can't find it.  Now I wonder if it's real - but I think it is.  It has kind of a waltz melody.

"And when I dream, I dream of you.  Someday my dream, it will come true."

Any ideas?

I'm totally in love with Neil Gaiman (see link at left).  Is that strange? 

When I was like 14, my friend, Carrie and I met some boys in a nearby town.   I liked the cutest one, James, and he returned the interest.  (I later went on to have a pretty serious relationship with his brother, Dan.)  The other one, Gregg was left for my friend, Carrie.  Gregg wasn't as cute, but he was OK.  Carrie, however, wasn't interested and wanted James.  She pulled me aside and said we should "switch".  Now keep in mind that we were only 14, so not a lot was really going to happen, and there had not been anything more than flirting yet.  Since I didn't really care, I said that was fine.  James, however wasn't interested in my friend, but since I wasn't going to hurt her feelings he ended up with her anyway.  While they were making out, Greg and I just hung out.

Fast forward to the next evening.  The guys happen to be in a band, and they are practising.  James was a credible singer, but Gregg was an amazing drummer!  (In fact, I think he still drums to this day).  NOW Carrie was interested in Gregg!  And, suddenly, so was I.  I found this odd at first - why should talent (or lack of it / not) inspire attraction? I realized, after a little thought, that talent is actually much more deserving of attraction than looks, although both have genetic benefits to a future mate.  (sorry- I think about EVERYTHING in socio- anthropologic terms.)  Anyway, James turned out to be a jerk and Gregg was always the nicest guy in the world.  I never kissed Gregg, but I always wondered what would have happened if I had. 

What do you find attractive in a mate?  Looks, talent, ambition, charisma?  Which are valid and which can lead to trouble?  Can you overcome your initial impulse and choose substance over style?  Or did you get lucky and get both (varucassalty!)?

The Asian Ladybugs are attacking!  I have at least 50 on the ceiling in this room alone.  My husband had about 300 in his office/studio because he left the air conditioner in and they get in around the edges.  The preferred treatment method is vacumning, so I suppose I should get started.

Just three days ago I said "Remember the Asian Ladybug problem we had last year?  Doesn't seem like it's going to be a problem this year."

Yeah.  Right.  Oh well....  I guess it's not so bad as problems go.

Lettered across the back of a truck (driven by a woman) that occasionally visits my neighborhood:

SILLY BOYS...TRUCKS ARE FOR GIRLS!

I still have this dress.  Nice shoulder pads, huh?  My daughters just found it (the dress) in the basement.  They think it's the neatest thing....  I think I closed my eyes for the horror of it all.  My oldest daughter is in there somewhere with me - about the size of a thumb!

(OH!  I should mention that this was the bridesmaid's dress to my friend's wedding.)

This Blog represents everything that is wrong with me.  It's hard for me to write a post that tells what it's like at the bottom of my roller coaster.

I can post motivational blogs, philosophical dialogues, social commentary, and even the occasional free-form, poorly trained poetry.  And comments, well I can be anywhere from pedantic ass to a comforting mom, as long as I get to be the icon.

What a load of crap.  This morning was picture day at school and I couldn't find my single remaining check-book that I had last used on Sunday.  And I needed 5 checks or $187 cash before the kids went to school.  So of course I threw a tantrum and acted like a 5 year old.  But I can even describe it, can't even talk about it on more than a superficial level.

Am I THAT disconnected?  How the hell am I ever going to deal with this shit if I can't even roll in it, hit it head on, laugh about it, even.  I see people dealing with their crap everyday here.  Sometimes they miss the point.  But it doesn't matter.  They're in there swinging.

God, I don't even know where I am going with this. 

Twenty years ago I used to dream
That I could fly
Kind of like superman
But much higher

I would fly at night and
Each flight among the stars was
Exhileration
Liberally seasoned with
Trepidation

To this day I am not sure what I was
Looking for
My one true love?  My soul-mate?
Calling to me across space and time

Sometimes I felt so cold
All alone
In the stratosphere
And so far away from home

But my flights always ended with the same
Terror
For between the earth and I
Would be barriers

Great spider webs
Or electrical lines
Criss-crossing the earth
And I couldn't get through

At first

But I no longer fly in my dreams
So I have no problem getting back to earth

Now.

My daughter participated in a bone-density / weight ratio test at school.  Like me, her wrists are freakishly thin.  But unlike me, she is not small-framed everywhere.  She has broad shoulders, good hips and nice musle-tone.  At 120 lbs., and 5'4", she looks perfect.

However, since she qualified as "small-framed", based on her wrists, she is supposedly 20 lbs overweight!  When she attempted to point out to her teacher that this information is obviously incorrect, her teacher said, "The test is never wrong."

Now will someone please explain to me why a teacher is telling a perfectly normal girl that she is overweight!  Any average person knows that those test are relative.  For instance, any professional athlete or body-builder tests out as obese on those things because of their unusual amount of muscle.

With the proliferance of anorexia over the past 20 years, should a HEALTH teacher use a little common sense??!!  Grrrrrr!

Fortunately, the girl is smart enough to know that both the test and the teacher is full of crap.  No harm done.  This time.

• Harold & Maude - a movie.  If you haven't seen it - find one.  You won't be sorry.


• Horton Hears a Who, by Dr. Seuss - Now THERE was an altruistic elephant! 


• The Princess Bride - a movie.  OK - the female role sucked.  She was a wimpy, whiney, pretty thing.  But if you can get past that, the movie is great - and directed by "meathead".


• The Sandman series of graphic novels by Neil Gaiman.  ('nuff said)


• "Illusions" or "The Celestine Prophesy" - both books that have a place in moving people out of ruts if they're ready for it.  (But that's all)


• Damn!  almost forgot Monty Python!  (esp -  and The Holy Grail)


• Libraries - what an amazing concept!


• the singer/songwriter - ANY of them!  They keep creativity in music alive and usually don't make much money doing it.


• Keep the list going (I'm out of time)

My husband and I are both amateur oil painters.  We like to paint for relaxation, but we only started a couple of years ago.  My husband is a voracious painter - he goes through several canvases a month.  So I decided to stop buying the already stretched canvases and start stretching them myself.

The supplies arrived, and he wanted to get started, so I looked up how to do it, laid everything out, and started the stretching:  side-to-side, back and forth, pull and tug.  He watched every move I made.  (He was even the one who suggested that I review directions in a book we have.)The first one turned out adequate.  I think I could get them better with a good pair of stretching pliars.

So then he decides to do the next few.  I cut the canvas to size, and then he staples the canvas - all down one side!  Note that this is not what I did, and we had discussed pretty clearly that I was following the directions by the book!  At this point, being a relatively wise woman, I say nothing and leave the room.  When I come back later he has two canvases stretched, and he is not pleased with the results.  They look a little puckered and bubbly.  I'm going to have to take them apart and re-do them.

What is it about men and following directions?

...And our little tourist town can now go into hibernation for the winter.  I always love it when that happens.  Not that I mind the tourists.  Except when they casually stroll through the middle of the road like I'm not even DRIVING ON IT!!  No matter.

I'm always surprised when winter is over and they come back again.  It's like some weird insect migration pattern.  The 17 year locusts that you can't quite get used to.

Here's to a long winter's nap.

Ok, yeah I know that greater minds than mine have pondered this common philosophical question.  Is there really such a as thing as...

al·tru·ism:  Unselfish concern for the welfare of others; selflessness

Some of you know I am an EMT (basic level).  I am only a volunteer.  I live in a rural area, 20 minutes from the ambulance.  So several volunteers become EMTs and carry radios for emergencies.  They call us "First Responders".

So last night  at midnight I get a call of a woman bleeding in a parking lot with a head wound.  As generally expected, I know the woman casually.  It's a pretty serious fall and she needs to go to the ER.  But it turns out her daughter doesn't have a way to the hospital.  So, long story short, I take her, test are done, stitches are given, and we all get home at 6:00 this morning, which gives me about an hour for a quick nap.

• So why did I do this? 


• Would anyone else? 


• Would "most people"?  Maybe in a small town. 


• But why? 


• So the people you are helping will think you are great? 


• So the other people who find out about it will think you are great? 

So you can go jump on your blog and tell lots of people about it and maybe they'll think you're great?  What need are you fulfilling?  Hoping to earn brownie points toward your greater reward? 

The old testament commands such behaviour. 

 mitz·vah:

I am desperately trying to follow The Moon's advice and get my header in place.  This is making me tense and the children in the next room are NOT HELPING.

The following exchange just took place between my 9-year old and I:

Me (at the end of my rope, but trying to be VERY, very patient):  "If I hear ANY more DISCORD coming from that room, WHOEVER is being discordant will be EVICTED.  DO you UNDERSTAND?!!!!"

Daughter:  "Yes"

Me (incredulous):  "Did you really understand that?"

Daughter (with conviction):  "Yes"

Me:  "Wow.  I'm impressed."

I have a real problem here.  I mean, besides that fact that my header is screwed up and I don't seem to be able to upload an image to save my butt!  I have a serious t-blog addiction.  Let's review the symptoms:

• I have been on tblog for 10 days.  I have probably been active for about 24-30 hours in that time.


• I think about things to write about ALL THE TIME. 


• When I am not doing that, I think about other bloggers, who they are, and what they have to say.


• When I am not doing the two things listed above, I am thinking about being addicted to tblog and how it is, well maybe not such a good thing.


• I think about what I SHOULD have been doing in those 24-30 hours.


• I make mental lists about those things I should be doing.


• They have things like:  finish painting trim in living room (2 hours), fix picnic table (2 hours), fold 6 loads of laundy and match about 150 socks (no really, I'm not exagerating!) (ummm....3 or 4 hours), vacumn the whole house at once...(ok - umm, I don't know, I've never done it...maybe 1 or 2 hours depending on whether I move things...), mow lawn (2 hours), transplant about 30 peonies and daylillies (6 hours not including the visit to the chiropractor), make a 4 ft square oil painting of blue pears on a yellow background to hang in my kitchen...(about 4 hours, broken up)


• I could have gotten ALL THOSE THINGS DONE, in the time I have been on tblog...


• ok - you've got the picture.  I need help.  really

I thought about changing the title to "I blog because I'm happy" but I decided to stick with the original lyrics.  Reasons I am happy:

• "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" came out this week.  A shoe-in for Oscar in the category of "Best Movie no one ever saw", this is a definite DVD library requirement.  Don't miss it.


• This weekend is Octoberfest.  That's always fun, in an "oom pa pa" sort of way.


• I finally got some chocolate.


• The weather is beautiful - cold nites, warm days.


• I have so much to do and so little mind, I mean "time", but I JUST DON'T CARE.  It'll still be there tomorrow.  And the day after that.  And the day after that.


• I think that if I have plenty of unfinished business lying around, nothing bad could possibly happen to me.  I mean, who would want to clean up the mess?


• Oh, yeah, here's one:  I unclogged the toilet.


• Eggplant, tomato and onion curry.


• Ensalada Caprese.


• Cous Cous (so good and so much fun to say - how can I stand it?)


• The Inn at World's End